Day 41 ― Yesod of Yesod: Bonding in Bonding
Every person needs and has the capacity to bond with other people,
with significant undertakings and with meaningful experiences. Do I have
difficulty bonding? Is the difficulty in all areas or only in certain
ones? Do I bond easily with my job, but have trouble bonding with
people? Or vice versa?
Examine the reasons for not bonding. Is it because I am too critical
and find fault in everything as an excuse for not bonding? Am I too
locked in my own ways? Is my not bonding a result of discomfort with
vulnerability? Have I been hurt in my past bonding experiences? Has my
trust been abused? Is my fear of bonding a result of the deficient
bonding I experienced as a child?
To cultivate your capacity to bond, even if you have valid reasons to
distrust, you must remember that G-d gave you a Divine soul that is
nurturing and loving and you must learn to recognize the voice within,
which will allow you to experience other people's souls and hearts. Then
you can slowly drop your defenses when you recognize someone or
something you can truly trust.
One additional point: Bonding breeds bonding. When you bond in one area of your life, it helps you bond in other areas.
Exercise for the day: Begin bonding with a new person or experience
you love by committing designated time each day or week to spend
The Daily Omer