Sunday, August 14, 2011

There Is Still Something There


It's funny being over 50.
Sometimes I feel invisible. A lot of times I don't feel all that pretty.
Once I was attractive.
Never in a mass market way.
Not buxom or blond.
Just nice to look at. 'Cute', my High School girlfriends said. 'You have nice eyes'
I had a look that appealed to mature men. A teacher in that same High School used to tell me that every time he looked at me, he felt he had Liz Taylor in his classroom. I didn't get it then, but I get it now.

It happened a couple of months ago.
I was having problems with the phone lines and the telephone company sent a technician to the house.
They don't wear the gray or brown uniforms that they once had. They have clothes that look like everyday wear and except for the emblem on the chest, they look like anybody. They don't stick out as workmen.
My neighbor saw him coming out of the house with a suitcase type thing in his hand. The neighbor came running over to see what was going on and found me in the side yard hanging up clothes. Slightly out of breath, he half shouted at me that there was a man taking things out of my house. I smiled and said not to worry; it was the phone technician and that probably was his tool kit. The neighbor approached me and I repeated what I had said because he wasn't acting like he heard me and I have a quiet voice, too. I didn't look at him; I was doing wet clothes and besides that, it's not so modest or polite to stare a man you aren't related to straight in the eye. We just moved here less than 6 months before and frankly, I don't have any contact with my neighbors, especially the man of the house. He explained that there had been day light break ins over the years, and some families had had people come into the house when they were home but in the backyard or upstairs and had things stolen and so he was concerned. I turned to thank him for being a good neighbor and finally looked him straight in the eye. Our eyes locked, and I saw a look there in his eyes I hadn't seen in years. He broke off first, mumbled I don't know what, and turned and almost ran away.

I put my hand to my face. There is still something there after all.

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